Oh yeah, that anniversary…

As you most likely don’t recall, back in November of 2009, a collection of people who have a hard time translating english into thought, latched their little mindless grasps of the future onto a massive collection of stolen emails as the new and improved proof that climate change is a lie perpetrated by the weather channel and Al Gore. Or something. A short walk down amnesia lane will remind you that apparently if you use the word “trick” in your email, everything you have ever said or done is therefore suspect. The possibility that “trick” might mean a cleaver way of accomplishing something was just too much for the anti-science (and seemingly also anti-dictionary) crowd to grasp.

Good times had by all.

Such denial is par for the course for the anti-fact crowd. What was fun to watch this particular time around is that their total failure to comprehend what was actually in the emails lead them to the conclusion that these emails where the smoking gun, the final straw, the last great proof that we would never have to hear about the farce that was climate change ever again. Ever!

I loved the idea that a few misunderstood emails could be the proof that reality was not happening so much that I promptly added the date to my calendar so that every year I could mark the anniversary by laughing my ass off over how we are still (obviously) hearing about global warming. And likely will be until the species dies off.

This year I am a little late, and have to revisit the Nov. 23rd date a few days after the fact. But that only means a few days of good stories.

Take for example the recent New York Times piece, “Is This The End.” A few people have complained about the fatalism in the piece, and rightly so. It simply gives up the possibility of our dealing with warming. Perhaps with good reason. The New Scientist for example makes the Times articles sound all Pollyanna optimist and good times around the corner. And they dedicated an entire issue to the topic. Again with good reason.

After pointing out that back in 2009, the late William R Freudenburg showed that in the 2 years since the 2007 IPCC report we had learned that the IPCC were basically optimists and that it was now 20 times more likely that climate change was going to be worse than the IPCC report claimed, they really go to town. Behold, the New Scientists 7 reasons that climate change is way worse than the pessimistic predictions led you to believe…

1. Thick sea ice in the Arctic was not expected to melt until end of the century, may now be gone in 10 years. Oops.

2. Warming was known to make weather more extreme, but is already more extreme than anyone predicted. Sandy? Record droughts? Never heard of them!

3. Warming should have at least boosted food production. Oops again! Production dropped, food prices soar! Oh well…

4. Greenland ice safe till 2175 to 2300? How about more rapid ice loss than we thought and a 1 meter sea rise by 2100. What? Oh sorry, that is a 1 meter minimum.

5. CO2 problems? Turns out the planet was absorbing 50% of that CO2, and new signs suggest that very soon that will stop. Yes, our effective CO2 output will double one day in the near future, because the ocean CO2 sponge is shutting down.

6. If we stopped all CO2 emission tomorrow, we might still not avoid disaster. Instead emissions are still increasing annually.

7. Current warming predictions (the ones that the above points all suggest are not strong enough) suggest huge sections of the globe will simply become too hot to support human life. Tell that to the next jackass who says warming is ok with them because they dislike winter anyway. You think immigration is bad now? Wait till everything between the tropics empties into your backyard as nearly 30% of the worlds population is forced to move. Puts countries complaining about a few thousand refugees into context doesn’t it?

So yeah, good job deniers. Finding an email with the word “trick” in it totally solved all the worlds environmental issues. Maybe next you can find proof Obama once said the word “Muslim” and use it as proof he is one.

…sorry, my editorial staff is informing me that there is currently controversy over a ring the president wears that has already jumped the shark on that one.

Good work reality deniers! See you next year!

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