I Have a Great Idea For Once

People should start sending – hand written – letters, through the mail to their friends.

There’s no way they can open all of them without being noticed, and it will create many jobs for mail carriers!

I’m a job-creator!

PLUS: It’s a felony to open somebody’s mail.

It only has to say: I love you.

  1. #1 by Larry Bergan on January 6, 2013 - 9:57 am

    PLUS: It’s F’n funny.

  2. #2 by Larry Bergan on January 6, 2013 - 12:59 pm


    It could say something else.

  3. #3 by Shane on January 6, 2013 - 1:08 pm

    I actually support complex image encoding and heavy encryption techniques to send simple “how are you?” messages to loved ones in the know. Give the NSA something to think about…

  4. #4 by Larry Bergan on January 6, 2013 - 3:08 pm

    An influx of regular mail will send them spinning!

    Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. will be over-burdened!

  5. #5 by Larry Bergan on January 6, 2013 - 3:35 pm

    The letter should probably say:

    I’m trying to flummox the CIA and the FBI. Pass it on.

    What is it now: 25 pense-per-stamp?

  6. #6 by Richard Warnick on January 6, 2013 - 8:35 pm

    Use a book code. No way to decode that unless you know the exact book to use. Cannot be broken.

  7. #7 by cav on January 6, 2013 - 9:42 pm

    I don’t care how good the spooks are, there are / will be stuff that gets past them. Encrypted, compressed or stretched, bounced off the moon, something.

    So Larry’s proposal to simply swamp them with love letters, becomes that much more hay from which the needle must be tickled out from. Fogs the fear-scape legally, if that’s your desire.

    On the other hand, love letters, which can be held in one’s hands, smelled, re-read, and smilingly responded to, are a good thing in and of themselves. And if you use the beautiful commemorative stamps, there’s not a postal carrier out there who’ll object to delivering it.

  8. #8 by Larry Bergan on January 7, 2013 - 2:31 pm

    Wow, I didn’t realize how expensive stamps have become. It’s a good thing I bought a bunch of them earlier.

    I always wanted to be a postman and even took the test, but they wanted to put me on part time in Coalville so I had to turn it down. I feel bad for post-persons these days. They have to worry their job is going to be cut constantly and mostly they only deliver ads that people don’t want. I always grab the ads and a small, heavier piece of paper will fall on the ground which I have to bend down and pick up. Very annoying.

    Not like the good old days.

  9. #9 by cav on January 7, 2013 - 3:53 pm

    I think what you didn’t realize is the declining value of the penny. Or you could try this:

    Trillion Dollar Coin recipe:

    Heat oven to 425. Skin and de-fat 6,000 billionaires. Reduce fat into a spreadable paste in a pan over high heat. Coat a large baking dish with it. Go to Cayman Islands. Remove trillions of corporate off-shore tax free holdings. Boil in a pan for 1hr. Drain, and layer in the manner of filo dough. Brush with leftover billionaire fat on each layer. Bake for 3hrs, reducing to “reform” temperature after 2hrs at “revolutionary.” Remove from sheet and liberally dress with freedom, liberty and equality.

    Serves 7 billion.

  10. #10 by Larry Bergan on January 7, 2013 - 4:43 pm

    Only you could come up with something like that, cav. I love it!

    PBS had a great two hour show on Friday about Paul Simon returning to Graceland 25 years after the album was released. It features at least two performances of “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes”.

    Absolutely wonderful show!

  11. #11 by Richard Warnick on January 7, 2013 - 6:08 pm

    My postman delivers ads, but more annoyingly also delivers bills. 🙁

  12. #12 by Larry Bergan on January 7, 2013 - 7:42 pm


    The mail is biased. Nobody ever sends you money but everybody wants yours.

    I still think forty cents is a a good deal to have your mailman hand deliver a letter.

  13. #13 by cav on January 7, 2013 - 8:22 pm

    387103 1028642 102 1837 10028364 659463 2937 74 93 92653 7 925082

  14. #14 by Larry Bergan on January 7, 2013 - 8:24 pm

    Here’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about:

  15. #15 by Larry Bergan on January 7, 2013 - 8:57 pm

    cav says:

    387103 1028642 102 1837 10028364 659463 2937 74 93 92653 7 925082

    I couldn’t agree more!

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