Archive for category Laugh

A Case for The Elimination of Food Stamps. Charities Can Feed The Poor Without Government Help.

Children are starving in the U.S.As funny as it is informative.

Forbes Magazine guy makes the case that charities can feed the poor without gov’t help.

This is just another Christian – Tea Party – Libertarian meme of course.

But I’ve never heard it expresses with such certainty and seriousness. Forbes has finally jumped the shark with this clown.




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Mike Lee Storms The Beaches of South Jordan

Mike Lee, sophomore senator from the embarrassed state of Utah, gets a full, ten minute standing ovation with chants of “we like Mike”, “we like Mike!

With children and mothers all around, this man, who stood up against labor laws which have prevented children from child labor got a longer standing ovation then president Eisenhower probably ever got at a speech.

Watch as much as you can stand:

The YouTube videos of Sir. Lee saying that anti child labor laws are unconstitutional no longer exist, but there are at least two websites that are trying to provide them:

Thinkprogress and Huffington Post.

I was present at a “tea party” “event” at the State Capitol, took pictures, and gave this account on this blog. Mike Lee was there, running for office. There was so much wind blowing and the dust was so thick that all of us almost choked and an American flag hit me so hard, I almost got knocked out.


But there is a better account of the scope of the deceit. I only observed three buses, but the original Tea Party, which was a TRUE grass roots movement, got the story right:

We should band together!

Update: The Deseret News had this story: Hundreds rally for Sen. Mike Lee despite low approval numbers
From the article:

“I do not approve of him and I do not think he is fulfilling the best interests of his constituents,” said Mel Walker, who held a sign that, at one point, was ripped from her hands by Lee supporters.

Sounds about right. I lost numerous “IMPEACH BUSH” signs in that manner.


Show Up For Work an Hour Late Tomorrow

It’s in the plan, I guess.


Let Me Try To Simplify This…

Credit goes to Disney

Credit goes to Disney

When these stories are new, a lot of speculation goes on in the media; which is normal.

A man drives his truck up the capital steps in Utah – which were designed to not allow vehicles to drive up there – according to the Deseret News:

When the Capitol was renovated several years ago, the steps were built at a steeper angle as a security measure, designed to make a vehicle either bottom-out or be unable to make the climb.

“It was just the perfect-sized truck with the right amount of clearance to do what it did,” he said.

The same Deseret News aticle from page 1 claims:

Green has several DUI convictions and minor traffic violations, but no other criminal history in Utah.

The Salt Lake Tribune claims:

The man’s prior criminal history in Utah is minor: a few traffic violations and a charge of unlawful purchase, possession or consumption of alcohol by a minor when he was 18, according to a search of court records.

Some reports said the man wasn’t able to be tazed, but this report from The Associated Press said:

Troopers confronted him on the building’s third floor, where they stunned Green with a Taser, punched him in the face and arrested him.

I don’t know if this was a ploy to legalize marijuana or pump-up the drug war; a scheme to increase “Homeland Security” and the Bluffdale mega-spy-center or maybe it was only a youthful indiscretion.

Now here’s my point…

The fact remains that this dude could have just walked up those stairs and right into the building with a gun and shot anybody he wanted to, but he didn’t have a gun.


On Chrysanthemums


A great friend of mine, who worked in the garden business once had to plant a full grown tree into a very rich woman’s garden. The woman was unsatisfied and told the gardeners that they would have to replant the full grown tree into a different postition.

It was as if she we’re re-arranging her living room.

My friend was not happy; Not because he would continue to be making money on-the-hour, but because he would have rather been planting Chrysanthemums.

True story.


A Play On Words For The History Books

Stories like this give me hope. Whenever people can fight the oil guys with a funny joke we all come out ahead. Jokes about green jobs wouldn’t fly, and besides, if green energy got the kind of subsidies as big oil, we could train the oil workers to make future energy resources that would protect their children.

Let’s face it; even the – sort of – big oil guy’s children will benefit from clear air, water, and fire-free faucets.

Did somebody from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Forest Service division actually say:

“Any time anybody uses Smokey’s image for anything other than wildfire prevention,” said Helene Cleveland, fire prevention program manager for the Forest Service, “it confuses the public. What we’re trying to do is keep Smokey on message.” Cleveland added that the 1952 Smokey the Bear Act takes the character out of the public domain and “any change in that would have to go through Congress.”

Since I was BORN in 1952, I can’t remember the “Smokey the Bear Act”, but I’ll just bet you that Helene Cleveland got a little call from the now-oily “Ad Council” to make that statement, but, then again, we’re now living in the 21st century.

Also, since I was born in 1952, I can remember the great ad the “Ad Council” made which featured an American Indian shedding tears over what consumerism had already done to his land. That was before the ridiculous “this is your brain on drugs” ad came out.

What happened, “Ad Council”?

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Let Them Eat Snow – North Korean Report on Life in America

UPDATE: It’s a fake.

‘How Americans Live Today’: Fake North Korean Propaganda Video Punks The Internet

This North Korean news report, titled “How Americans Live Today,” may be in need of a little bit of fact-checking.

“This is how Americans live today- drinking coffee made from snow and living in tents, and buying guns to kill each other, especially children. Some people complain about the guns…”

Kim Jong-un has a serious problem – how to keep his people convinced that their country is a relatively nice place to live, despite starvation, prison camps, power shortages, and a leader who clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing. Possession of foreign-made video CDs is a serious crime in North Korea.

Despite the propaganda, some people have a clue.

Defectors have told U.S. officials that the North Korean people—probably not a majority, but still a growing number—are aware of the glaring contrast between their own lives and the rest of the world.

Of course, if Paul Ryan gets his way maybe we can reduce the contrast between us and North Korea…


The Best Humor Comes From Near Tragedy

But in this case, past tragedy. Tragedy not usually experienced as widely as as it could be, or was in the past.

That’s not saying it couldn’t happen again to anybody, but you know what they say:

Humor is the best medicine:

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Conservative Patriot Gives In: “As half the nation is in sheer awe of this American Idol “rockstar” presidency.”

I’ve followed this Facebook page for several months. Its one of the best in it’s genre; an excellent reference for study of the authoritarian mind and an excellent resource for tracking the Tea Party memes since 2010.

Its run, and run well, by a single person. Id love to speak with him and find out how I’ve been “dumbed-down.”

He posted the following today:

Conservative Patriots of America: Folks, I cannot do this any longer, it is of NO use. As half the nation is in sheer awe of this American Idol “rockstar” presidency, and the mainstream media is further enabling the STUPIDITY & NONSENSE with the dumbing-down of the citizens, Obama has just played his 115th round of golf — lucky he, huh? Well, how about that UNEMPLOYMENT RATE, or the fact that he met with his now defunct “Jobs Council” only FOUR TIMES before dissolving it — or that National Debt, or that China owns us — I mean, REALLY, WHERE do I begin??

I have sat at my computer for nearly THREE YEARS wasting my time & energy on a matter that cannot be resolved. We are less than one month into the second term, and if any of you have any “foresight,” methinks you will agree with me that NOTHING is going to get done, NOTHING is going to get better, and NOTHING can be done about it. I’ve done what I can & that’s about it, there is nothing more I can do or say. I’ll be hanging Old Glory upside-down for the next four years.

Oh, and to the Trolls, P.S. Do NOT talk about Bush’s vacations, the world was a MUCH different place during Bush’s 2 terms — find something else to bring to the table on this presidency.  Join us at: Conservative Patriots of America — on facebook.

Here’s a picture from his page that almost made me want to join up with them “patriots.”

teabagger idiots

Isn’t being anti-choice messing with family?

I sent him a Tweet asking him to contact me through Facebook. I hope he’ll give me an interview.

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World’s Fastest Liars/Losers

Glenn Beck vs John Fund collaborate before the Obama win in 2012.

Who won the contest? There were – state of the art – roving cameras covering the event.

Who were those other guys at the keyboards?

Whose skull was that in the Oval Office – looking – scene?

Why, OH WHY, does George Soros keep letting Donald Duck vote?


Awkward and Weird

President Obama was (what else?) presidential last night. Marco Rubio, not so much. You felt sorry for the guy, if not for the Republican Party as a whole. The only time he went left was to lunge for a bottle of water – it was almost painful to watch.

Linda Holmes on NPR:

It was awkward and weird, but it was also genuine and obviously unplanned…

In that moment, there may be a measure of politically fueled schadenfreude for some, but for many more, it’s just, “Oh, oh no, oh no no, that was so uncomfortable, oh … no.” Maybe even a little, “Oh, honey.” Maybe even, “Bless your heart.”

There’s something refreshing about a moment that was so obviously not supposed to happen — it’s why blooper reels exist. It’s why debates are spent waiting for someone to say the wrong thing, even by people who don’t particularly care about the outcome. When things go awry — even in a tiny, tiny moment — the bottom drops out and the foreheads get clammy and all of a sudden, it’s interesting. It’s alive. It’s: We interrupt this impeccably produced presentation to bring you a little story we call “Humans: What Are You Gonna Do?”

In all honesty, the water gulp was just about the only part of that evening you couldn’t have known was going to happen 24 hours earlier. …[I]t was the major plot development (minor as it was) that felt like a collapse of the narrative, and the truth is, people like collapsed narratives. They feel, to use a nonword, real-er, truer, simpler, and more reflective of our experiences.

If you were a climate change denialist from Florida, you might be nervous too.

6 Game-Changing Ideas In The State Of The Union


Whitehouse responds to death star petition


Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.
This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For
By Paul Shawcross
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?


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