Posts Tagged witch doctor

National Reality Check. Jesus Not Coming Back

The problem is Gov. Avon Lady, she takes the Old Testament literally too, and in that one, God is an insecure, rage-filled hybrid of Bobby Knight and Suge Knight. He’s been alive forever and He has anger issues. He’s like John McCain if John McCain could fart hail. He’s pro-slavery, pro-polygamy and homophobic and he’ll kill you for masturbating. More people get stoned in the Old Testament than in my Jacuzzi. That’s what I have to tell you guys… If there was a video of Barack Obama standing in front of his congregation being healed by a black witch doctor, this election would be over.

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